Saturday, April 19, 2014

"Q" is for Quitting: A-Z Challenge

Q is for Quitting
My dad educated me about many things while I was growing up.  He taught me to respect myself and others.  He educated me about the birds and the bees.  He imparted words of wisdom on how to be thrifty.  My dad was a master at pinching pennies.

One of the best things my dad taught me was never to quit.  It was okay to fail, but it wasn’t acceptable to give up for fear of failure.  He wanted me to try my hardest at whatever it was I was pursuing.  Then, he expected that I take that determination a step further and give it even more than I thought I had in me.  Just so long as I didn’t give up in defeat.  He wanted me to learn it was better to try my best at something than assume I couldn’t do it at all.

He was a great example to follow too.  Dad had many triumphs that I was able to enjoy with him.  He also had many failures but it wasn’t for a lack of trying.  That man didn’t even let a triple by-pass slow him down back in the 70s.  He took a few months off from work then was back at the grind before we knew it.  After a stroke left him partially paralyzed in the 90s, he became determined to walk again. By God, he did – with the help of his tripod cane.

He just never quit and I learned that trait from him.

When my first husband died, I refused to give up on life.  It would have been easy to sit on the couch, continuing to grieve, and not find some sort of silver lining in the clouds.  But, I remembered my dad’s determination and that inspired me.  I got up off that couch, got a second college degree, and landed a great job.  (Which had nothing to do with the degree, but, meh, at least I went back, right?)

So, when I found out about my second husband’s sex addiction, I didn’t quit on him either.  Oh, trust me, the temptation to run away from it all was enormous.  The word divorce entered my brain dozens of times an hour back then.  Eventually though, I was able to pick myself up from the floor and recover.

Just like I didn’t give up on my husband, I didn’t give up on myself.  When the days after disclosure filled with pain, I was determined to find some good in there somewhere, no matter how minute.  There was always something positive to focus on and remember not to quit.

Today is my dad’s birthday (I’m writing this in March) and I’m so grateful to have had him by my side the first twenty-eight years of my life.  Thanks dad.  You rocked!

Have there been things you were tempted to quit?  What made you keep going?

Friday, April 18, 2014

"P" is for Pride: A-Z Challenge

P is for Pride
(From Bing but when I thought of Pride, I thought American Pride - 'Merica!)

“Do you need anything?” Devin asked.

“No, I’m fine.” I said. It would be nice to have something to eat, I thought.  Ever since the migraine hit, I hadn’t eaten.
~~@  ~~@
“Is there something wrong?” Devin asked.

“No.  I’m fine.” I answered. I wondered why he couldn’t figure out what was wrong.  Then, I realized he wasn’t a mind reader. 

Wash.  Rinse.  Repeat.

I’d had that same type of conversation with multiple people.  I refused to allow people to know I needed something.  Or more importantly, I wanted their help.

It was my pride getting in the way.  It’s like I had this little voice whispering in my ear.  “Don’t admit you want help, Elsie.  It’ll make you appear weak.  You’ll seem like you don’t have control over things.”

Now I know it's okay not to have control all the time.  I'm not supposed to be in control.  It's not my job.  I leave that to God.  Sometimes it's a daily struggle.  Other times, I let go without any problems at all.  Most of the time, I'm comfortable not being in full control.

Every so often, that inner voice will pipe up.  I have to remind myself that it’s okay to admit I’m in pain, or I don’t know how to do something.  It’s okay to put my pride aside and ask for help.

Do you have too much pride?

ETA:  I've got a migraine today.  I'll be by to visit your blogs when I'm feeling better.  Thanks!

This post is part of the A-Z Challenge.  Wanna see more?