Monday, August 18, 2014

Helping Myself and Others

Since my kids have been away, I’ve had time to work on my self-help book.  As I weeded my way through it, I discovered I have a long way to go before it’s finished.  At first I was disappointed with how much I have to edit, but then I realized I want it done right not fast. 

My mentor was correct all those long months ago when he recommended I take some of the narrative crap stuff out of it.  When I first started, I had the writing bug. I wanted to tell a story and help people recover from the effects of sex addiction.  Now that my first draft of my fictional novel is done, that itch to tell a tale has been scratched (at least for a little while.)

My non-fictional book had way too much personal stuff in it.  It resembled my blog more than a self-help book.  Sure, it’s great to be able to share my stories with others by giving them my personal experiences, but, geez, I was on sharing overload.

I remembered just what kind of book I wanted and needed after disclosure four years ago.  The last thing I wanted were sordid details of somebody else's marriage. I was trying to recover from sex addiction disclosure, not relive it. I was searching for someone who had not only been there, done that but also shared my hope that a marriage could survive after uncovering the addiction and betrayals.

I admit, it’s been hard to revisit some of the hurt to overhaul this book and make it better.  But it's helped me too.  So much of the junk that used to trigger me doesn't phase me one bit these days. I reminded myself that the things that happened in the past were just that - the past.  We are both better people in a stronger marriage now.

The anniversary of my first disclosure is fast approaching.  I thought by now it’d be just a blip on the radar of my life.  But it’s not.  It’s still there.  Although it lurks in the back of mind rather than in the present.   I suppose on that day I won’t wake up with the affairs being the first thing on my mind the way they used to be.  For that, I’m thankful.  I’m also experienced enough to know that it’ll wander through my brain at some point during that day and that’s okay.  I’ll allow myself to grieve for a moment or two but will make sure I remember how far we’ve come.

Then I’ll do what makes me happy.  I’ll write, blog, chat with others, and not allow myself to wallow in the past but learn from it instead.

Are there things in your past you wished you forget?  Have you learned from any bad experiences?

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Oh No! She's Really Posting Vacation Pictures?!

Yep.  I'm really sharing vacation pictures.  It'll be like going to your grandparents house and being forced to watch a slideshow of their cruise from 1972.  Fun is almost guaranteed!

In truth, this trip allowed me to see my home state with new eyes.  We brought my son's girlfriend.  She'd never been to New York and it was a great adventure to share with her.

I always talk about the food.  God, I love New York food!  My favorite is of course an egg sandwich.  Why don't we have deli's everywhere??

I was reminded just how delicious a black and white cookie is when Junior's girlfriend said, "I saw it on Seinfeld and want to try it!"  Now they sell them in mini's.  Hello delicious!

Look to the cookie, Elaine!

Speaking of Seinfeld, we finally made it to Tom's Restaurant.  We ate lunch and I was pleasantly surprised by how great the food was.  Yum!

One of my favorite places to visit while in NYC is F.A.O. Schwarz.  The best toy store ever!

Um yeah, this is made from Legos

So's this

And, of course, no visit to F.A.O. is complete without dancing on the Big Piano from the movie Big with Tom Hanks.  You too can have a mini one for a mere $89.00.  Which, I guess isn't too expensive considering it's from F.A.O.

Our last stop was Times Square.  There's nothing that comes close to seeing Times Square lit up at night.  Totally awesome!

Have you had an opportunity to visit any of these spots?  

ETA:  I woke up with a killer migraine.  I'll be around either tonight or tomorrow to visit everyone.  Sorry for the delay.

I was going to add pictures from the WTC but I wanted them to have their own post.