Monday, November 19, 2012

My Chiminea


An evening spent by a warm fire, watching the flames dance in the smile of my husband’s eyes reminded me of one of the many reasons I’m still here, after all that’s happened between us.

Emotions can run raw and hurt can run deep, even after two years of hard work and six months of intense self-work.  I find small things can still throw my emotional balance off kilter if I’m not careful, if I’m not in tune with what’s truly going on around me.

Enter in Friday’s post.  Thank you all for being there with your encouraging words, I’m doing much better now.  Thanks to last night.
Devin and I basked in the warmth of our chiminea last night and talked.  It’s amazing what topics can be covered under a star-filled sky, smoke drifting up from a wood fire while our dogs played and ran in our yard.  The kids were gone at work or at their friend’s and it was just us, alone, some much needed quality time. 

No television, no computers, no cell phones.  Just us…and the warmth of the fire…and three playful dogs.

We talked about inconsequential things and we talked about significant things too.  It was a perfect night.  A much needed reminder of who I married, the man not the disease.  It gave me an opportunity to let those walls I’d been building down, keep my detachment in it’s proper place and truly love Devin for who he is; my husband, my best friend, my lover, my children’s father, and a man I truly am proud to walk to beside each and every day and am grateful to have beside me.

It’s a night I look forward to repeating with him again and again and again.

61 comments:

  1. Poignant! Full of warmth, love, kindness, tolerance, patience and respect.
    A lesson for all of us - thank you, dear Elsie.

    It warms my heart knowing you are content, and at peace with life.

    Hugs, Jenny

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    1. It was such a good night, one I truly needed to share with him. It was a much needed reminder of why I love him so much. Thank you Jenny!

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  2. All touchy feeling, the cat needs to go to the litterbox now. Even mutts involved geesh. How despicable hahaha

    Hopefully many more nights will come like this and it's always nice when they do to give reminders of what one has and wants to keep.

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    1. So happy to have made you ill, you wretched feline! Thank you for not shitting all over my blog, how very considerate of you. I'm surprised! You must have been touched by my tenderness!

      We bought lots of firewood and plan on spending many more nights in front of a warm fire. Next time, I plan on bringing some hot chocolate with me too.

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    2. Let's hope it doesn't snow, that would sure end such a show. But then at least you can see where each mutt had a pee hahaha

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  3. That sounds so restful and peaceful. It's the talk of the inconsequential and the mundane that are often the most soothing. The problems can press so hard around you and living in that moment you had helped heal your heart.

    I'm glad you're feeling better and if I don't talk to before then, Have a Happy Thanksgiving!!

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    1. I think talking about nothing helped lead into talking about something and back into nothing again. The ease of an ebb of flow of a normal conversation without the pressure of "We have to talk" bearing down on anyone. The mundane parts were pretty funny too!

      I'll be thinking about you tomorrow and all this week, my friend! Enjoy your Thanksgiving, Anne!!

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    2. It's great when conversations skip from one thing to another and time passes without you noticing it. And a nice night with a fire helps add magic to it.

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    3. Those are the best kind. The ones that take no work =)

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  4. Sounds like a well-needed evening. Very cool. I wish you many more of these. Cheers and boogie boogie.

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    1. It was a grand evening indeed, Whisk. I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving!

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  5. love chimeney arent beauty??
    im glad you are better I thi.k you abd devin are so good people and yiu love each other.
    have a nice day tonorrow!

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    1. They are gorgeous, of course mine doesn't look quite that pretty but it's close enough. It was raining yesterday when I was typing this out. So, I snagged this picture off the internet. ha ha ha I truly believe Devin and I will make it. We are using my stash of packing papers for the kindling for the fire =PP

      Thanks, Gloria!!

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    2. Im happy you had a great time, Im sure he love you so much, :)

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    3. He does, Gloria. He took such good care of me before he left this morning. I have a terrible Migraine and he made sure I had all my necessities before walking out the door - Coke, remote, laptop =PP

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  6. I'm glad everything worked out so well! Nothing replaces a heart to heart talk, does it?

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    1. It's true, Debra. Nothing does. It really got us back on track and headed in the right direction again. Amazing how powerful words can be.

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  7. I look forward to a love like this some day. :)

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    1. I'm confident you'll have it one day, D4. I'm surprised to hear you don't already have it!

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    2. Shhhh.. I take my time, I take my time.

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    3. I want to be the one of the first who knows when it happens, D4

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  8. This sounds so wonderful, and so glad you had that time together. It is time like that that we need to be investing in more. Good for you.

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    1. I agree. I think Devin and I allow opportunities like this to slip away from us to often. We don't take enough "us" time and invest in each other and sometime take each other for granted now that our crisis has past and we shouldn't do that, we should take pause and let each other know how special we are to each other.

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  9. I'm glad you had such a nice night Elsie.

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    1. Me too, Ray, me too! It was greatly needed.

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  10. I liked the sound of that, very nice way to spend an evening!

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    1. It was so relaxing and warm and cozy and dare I say romantic, Lurk. We are definitely going to spending more nights like that again.

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  11. That does sound like a wonderful night, and really quite romantic and we all know what a big romantic I am. I'm glad you were able to get a lot of things out and help get things worked out between you two. Nothing says serene like a starry night and a fire. The dogs are just an added bonus.

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    1. There is something about the smell of a fire that makes things romantic, that's for sure. I see you as a romantic guy, Mark. (Especially now that I know what you look like!) It was a great night of communication and one we surely needed. My dogs were surely an added treat, such cute puppies!

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    2. I'm now wondering how what I look like influences me being a romantic person. Just curious. I do love an adorable puppy, and fires. But please, never ever ever mix the two.

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    3. Oh and because you asked so nicely the post about the girl is going up tomorrow.

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    4. Your face. It's kind and gentle and inviting...don't worry, I'm not getting all cougar on you, Mark ha ha ha! You just have that "face" that says, "I would be romantic". I do like hot dogs....but I'd never throw my puppies into the fire....

      Hooray! I'll check out your blog right now! Thanks for posting it today, I can't wait to read it.

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    5. Ahh I was wondering what you meant. I can agree with that. It looks better unshaven and that picture was from before I even had to shave.

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    6. Personally, I like when guys have a clean cut look. I don't like guys with a beard or stubble.

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  12. That made me all mushy inside. Now I wish my wife wasn't on her way to work and I could give her a big hug. 5 minutes ago I had no idea what a chiminea was and now I want one. Sometimes it's the simple things remind us of the simple happiness in our lives.

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    1. I hope you gave her a big mushy hug when she got home, Bryan, Trust me, you're going to love having a chiminea. Devin surprised me with it a few weeks ago and this was the first time we've been able to use it and it was awesome!

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  13. A very sweet post and sounded like some much needed quality time. So glad you and he are connecting. Cherish those moments! :)

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    1. It was so needed, JoJo. We connected and have been connecting ever since. It was like we hit the reset button. =)

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  14. Glad you are doing better! I spend the weekend sitting by a fire with my wife. I love a good fire on a crisp fall day/evening.

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    1. There's something about a warm fire bringing out the romance isn't there, Dan? I'm glad you did the same with your wife. Gah, I bet it was super cold by you!

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    2. Nope. The weather here has been quite nice actually. Close to 60 degrees!

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    3. 60? We've been colder than you. That's surprising!

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    4. Yeah, those old one eyed turtles generally tend to be cold blooded! lol

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  15. This post is so warming Elsie, it's so good it's forcing me to smile and I haven't felt like doing that for a while. Devin, like I've said for a long time sounds like a wonderful man in his core when he's not affected by a horrible mental illness and I'm so warmed that you're proud to walk through life with him and hope to repeat the nights like last night for a very long time to come, I love this so muhc.

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    1. Hooray! I made Matthew smile and now that's making me smile! That's awesome, especially knowing you're in tooth pain. You're right, Devin truly is a kind and decent man at his core and while I speak of his addiction often on here, it's not all he is. Most of my life with him in not about his addiction, although my blog is...thank you for seeing that!

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  16. I love it when I have those open, honest moments with my Sunshine. They help me get through the times when he's too busy at work, or too obsessed with hunting. I'm so glad you had one with Devin, and I hope they keep coming!

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    1. I think so many of us get so caught up in our lives that we sometime forget to slow down with our loved ones and take a few moments to appreciate each other. I'm glad you get them with Sunshine too.

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  17. oooh, melike when lurv is in the open air near a warm and cosy fire :)

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  18. That sounds so completely lovely. I am glad the two of you had that time together! I'll have to get me one of those, I think :)

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    1. It was wonderful. You will love having one, it is fairly inexpensive and a ton of fun. Next time it'll be with the kids and we'll do S'mores - yummy!

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  19. Glad you had such a great night! It sounded perfect! I hope there are many more for you and him!!

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    1. It was perfect! We may have another tonight...maybe, just maybe...

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  20. Sounds like it was just what you both needed, perfect timing Lovey.
    I hope you have many more evenings like this . . . You deserve this joy and peace in your relationship, after showing such commitment, loyalty and hard work.
    Love and hugs sent to you Lovey x x x

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    1. Lovey! I hope you are still hanging in there, my dear! Our rain finally moved away so we may try for another evening tonight. Who knows? It was such a wonderful night.

      Hugs and love coming right back to you, Lovey! xoxo

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  21. And that would be my one wish for ya'll. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving to you and yours.

    Love,
    Meemaw

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    1. Meemaw!! Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours too!!

      xoxoxo

      Love,
      Elsie

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